It's confirmed, I'm officially the PFK
Monday, July 15, 2013 at 9:09PM 
The Piggy Fat Kid. You remember them don’t you? In primary school that chubby kid who was always first in line for lunch, took more than their fair share and ate all the sausage rolls at your birthday party.
Well folks, add a few years and reassess your preconceptions. I might weigh a few pounds less than the image in your mind, but it’s confirmed, I am the PFK.
On Friday I was officially asked to change my eating habits. This will come as no surprise to my friends who often tease me about the amount I can put away in a day.
Example. My flatmate Libby once got home to find me intently focused on my cooking. As a result I was not as forthcoming as I might have been when she asked how my day was.
“Are you alright babe?”
“Yes, I’m fine, do I seem like I’m not?
“Well, kind of.”
“Oh sorry, I’m just really hungry.”
“Only had four meals so far today then?”
I’d had five, but they weren’t very big ones. Not by my standards anyway.
Another example. I went to Glastonbury a few weeks ago. Most people lose weight at a festival. I ate my body weight in bacon sandwiches. On the way home my friend, BB, found me in the aisle at M&S looking for a snack. It was about an hour and a half since we'd stopped for a pub lunch.
“You know, one day your metabolism is going to stop and you are going to turn into an elephant.”
Probably, so I might as well make the most of it now!
So on Friday I had a meeting with my line manager. She told me that our manager (the person I actually work for) had asked if I could please refrain from eating large meals outside normal meal times at my desk. Snacking is ok, but he’d prefer it if I didn’t eat breakfast between 10am and 12pm or lunch between 2pm and 4pm. At this point I started giggling, which put my line manager at ease – I think she was, understandably, quite nervous about passing on this message.
“The truth is I just eat a lot. What might look like breakfast or lunch to a normal person is probably just a snack for me, since I eat about 5 or 6 times a day.”
So if I’m eating a sausage sandwich at 11am it is probably, well, elevenses. If I am eating pasta at 3pm, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have lunch too.
Today I did my first day in the office since the policy was in place. It was a struggle, but I guess it will do me good to eat more appropriately. One day my metabolism is going to stop and all that...
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Reader Comments (6)
That is absolutely my favourite blog post you've ever written.
Ha! Because you know it is so true! :D xx
YOu've got to be the sveltest PFK I've ever met .... lovely blog. Will be checking from time to time for culinary inspiration .... Thanks
Hi Maud, thanks for visiting my page. Yes, I'm quite fortunate in that regard but I'm sure BB is right, it won't last forever. Lovely meeting you last weekend. Xx
Vicky who's genes have you got ???? you must have hollow legs.
Hi Ma, not sure but it mostly ends up on my ghetto booty! X